1. Characters
All the character's stories combined, and that's interesting to me because it would make it easier to combine the stories if I feel that I want to write about more than one in my retelling. However, the characters are sort of mansplained (yes, that is an actual word, and no, I am not correcting it). They are written in a male point of view and I think that I would make them more three dimensional, and give them more personality than they do in the stories.
2. Language
The language is quite old, and it really takes away from the story. By making the language more modern, the readers will be more involved in the story and it will really help to let the readers understand what is going on. Not only that, but it makes the text more relatable to the audience.
3. Scenery
There is information provided for in the stories that allows readers to assume that the setting is in the Middle East, but there really isn't any description of where they are. I would like there to be a little bit more scenery described in the text in order to create a better picture of the story and to understand how the character interact within their environments.
4. Portrayal of characters
A lot of the women are seen as secondary, background characters in the Bible. I want to make them the key figures within their story, to make sure that the readers understand that they are just as important to the tale as their male counterparts.
Princess Bride Bible verse meme. Found on QuickMeme. |
Women of the Bible, from the King James Bible; link to the online reading.
Once again, I have to admire your organization and neatness. I really enjoyed you writing. Your delivery made it very digestible. And I think its great that you still enjoy biblical stories. Furthermore, I think that your ideas are very refreshingly original. I think that giving the women in your story a more primary role is great idea. Lastly, I agree about on your take about the language. Sometimes it can take away from the story and if you simply try to "fill in the blanks," its easy to misinterpret.
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