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Here is the link to my Storybook!: https://sites.google.com/view/womenconstellations/home

Constellation meme. Found on me.me.

Week 5 Story: A Jewel For a Jewel

Nefertiti was always wary when the King called upon the girls of the harem, as one could never know what it could be for. She usually sat around, painting, admiring the scenery in the elaborate cage that he kept the other women and herself inside, but today, she was to meet the King at the river, with nineteen other girls – all virgins. She could not even imagine what he wanted them to do.

It was not that the King was a particularly cruel man. Nefertiti knew that everything he did and chose to do for his kingdom was a precise and calculated choice. That didn’t mean that she was not aware that this was the same man that was keeping her captive for his pleasure. She could not overlook that.

The girls were brought to the river and instructed to get into boats. There was five of them, all craved intricately with hieroglyphics and appeared to be hand painted. Nefertiti was tasked with rowing, while three other girls sat around her. She did not mind too much, because that would give her an excuse to ignore the King as he flirted and stared at his other concubines. She was only worried that the wood of the oars would give her blisters, and she could not risk harm to her body, as the overseers of the harem would notice and there would be consequences.

The people that ran the harem oftentimes told her of her beauty, jeering and laughing as they passed by; she was never able to say anything about it. She knew that she was attractive. Her parents had blessed her with a dark mane, which could have been made of satin, tanned skin that was not just from her time in the sun, and jade eyes that had been said to pierce into a person’s soul. When she grew into herself, the older women of the harem said she would be the King’s favorite.

The King was late, which was not unusual, and he watched the boats row by his place on the riverbank. There was a young man at his side, watching the girls as well, but without the same hungry look that the King wore. The other girls in her boat waved and called out for their Majesty, and it must have done the trick, because he called them forth and proceeded to get into the boat with all of them.

Despite her reluctance, as one of the other girls started a song, Nefertiti joined in, and the rest as well. It was a few long minutes of singing, the King watching them with a satisfied smile, when one of the girls became overexcited and knocked into one of the oars in Nefertiti’s hands. It smacked against her, stinging, and caught the necklace that she wore around her neck. It had been a gift from her mother, before she had passed away from fever.

It fell into the water with a sickening plop.

Her arms froze, and she had not even realized that she had stopped singing until all the girls, and the King, were staring at her. She heard the King’s voice in her head, asking her a question, but she was staring at the place where her necklace had fallen into the water.

“Girl,” The King snapped, and Nefertiti was pulled out of her daze. She looked up to see him scowling at her, and her hands tightened on the oars. “Do not stop. Continue rowing.”

“I can’t,” Nefertiti gasped, letting go of the oar and looking back at the water. “I lost… my necklace.”

The King rolled his eyes, and he waved his hand. “I will buy you another, girl. I have enough wealth.” He laughed at his joke, which was followed be titters from the girls around Nefertiti. She did not laugh, but instead, shook her head.

“It was from my mother.” She forced out, her gaze sharp on him while she clenched her teeth to keep herself from speaking more out of term.

Suddenly, the water beside the boat moved, causing them to rock gently. Nefertiti gasped as she watched the river part at the spot where she had watched her necklace fall. A small crocodile darted into the side of the parted water to hide; there was seaweed and shells and other misplaced items on the sandy bottom of the river. There was also her necklace.

She dared not get into the gap in the river herself, afraid that the magic of the moment would somehow break and she would lose her necklace forever. Instead, she stared, and only blinked out of her daze when she saw the young man from the riverbank walk through where the river was divided. Bending down, he picked up her necklace, and looked back up to her.

Smiling, the young man handed her the accessory, and their hands brushed lightly. “A jewel for a jewel.” He said, and the girl could not help but think that he was teasing her.

Nefertiti smiled back, a blush on her cheeks, and she nodded in thanks, unable to think of the words to say that would be enough. She held her necklace tight in her hand, and watched as the young man walked back to the water’s edge, and the water came together just as it had been before.

The King rolled his eyes again at the antics, and gestured at her. “Well, there you go, girl. Now let us continue.”

Tucking the necklace into the folds her robes, Nefertiti nodded sharply and began to row once more. Her hands were tight on the oars, but not in agitation like they had been before. It was to force herself to keep her eyes on the King, and not on the young man who had so magically returned her necklace to her.

Her actions did not work.

(979 words)

Necklace similar to what Nefertiti's necklace looked like. Found on Pinterest.

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Bibliography: The Green Jewel, from Egyptian Myth and Legend by Donald Mackenzie, link to online reading.

Author's Note: The original story is about a king who is bored with his life, and an adviser to him says that he should take twenty virgins from his harem and go boating for the day. When he does this, a nameless concubine loses a ring in the lake that they are rowing on, and he tells her that he can get her a new one. However, the girl does not want a new one, but the one that she had already, and asks him to retrieve it for her. A scribe comes to the King and the girl's aide, retrieves the jewel by muttering a spell, and gives it back to the girl. The story ends with the King and the girls continuing to row around. In my tale, the story is told from the girl's perspective. I have given the girl a name so that she is obviously more important to the story. The King is given more personality, where the readers see him more like an antagonist rather than the protagonist like in the original story. I provided more background as well as a description of the main character, and I made the jewel embedded in a necklace rather than a ring. With this, as well, I added more depth to the relationships with the characters (the King and Nefertiti, Nefertiti and the scribe), and this took a turn into adding a little forbidden romance, as Nefertiti is the King's concubine and would not have been able to be with another man. I made the language more modern so that it was easier to understand, with keeping the magical element in the story there for show.

Reading Notes: Ancient Egyptian Myths and Stories Part B

One of my biggest problems about the story of the Two Brothers was that both of the women in the tales were manipulative and evil; all of the men seemed to be victims of their treachery, like the brothers, or heroes against the actions of said women, like Ra. While the magic in the story is interesting, it's kinda of put to the wayside by the conflicts of the tale. It would be more interesting to see how the magic is interwoven into the plot, rather than just a overlooked plot point. For example, the appearance of crocodiles in between the brothers fighting might be more interesting if the crocodiles did something, like attack, to make the brothers interact and work together to save themselves and solve their differences. I liked the theme of brotherly/familial love. It was interesting to see to see the relationship grow and change with the circumstances that they were put under. 

One of the things I like is the descriptions of who the characters are at the beginning of the story. In the Book of Thoth, the main character is explained by his relationships to other people. However, this doesn't give me a physical description of the characters, which makes it hard to visual who each person is. Sometimes, people's physicality depicts who they are as a person. In this story, women are provided a necessary and important role to play, and they seem to be much more respectable than the two females in the previous story. However, I do think that it would be more interesting to give the role of the main character to a woman; in this time, it would be uncommon and certainly make some people mad.

Thoth meme. Found on Reddit.

The interesting story about the king was that it provided more gruesome details than those of the other stories. I like that the author didn't hold back. The only part I didn't like about the story is that the king's daughter's hand in marriage was given as a present for the hero's victory. 

Bibliography: Egyptian Myth and Legend by Donald Mackenzie, link to online reading.

Reading Notes: Ancient Egyptian Myths and Stories Part A

Keep Calm and Invoke the Power of Ra by Zach on The Keep Calm-O-Matic

It's always interesting to see the similarities and differences between the ancient and current mythologies. I chose this topic for this week because my roommates are interested in the subject and told me that I would enjoy reading about it.

The stories are written in third person, but the way they are written is weird. I will definitely change it. Keeping the third person will allow the readers to understand who is telling the story versus all the other characters that happen to cross into the plot's path, but I will write it in a way that will get into the main characters mind and not be so vague about details and emotions that occur within the story.

The problem I have with ancient mythologies is how weird some of the moments in the stories are. For example, in the Secret Name of Ra, Isis uses his saliva and bakes it. That's odd, right? I think taking out parts of the story similar to this will help the readers from being taken out of the story because of the oddity of certain moments. It will make the story more fluid and easier to follow.

Of course, language is always a big thing when it comes to ancient mythology and their stories. The old English makes it harder for me to delve into the story. Making it more modern would not only make it relateable but also easier to understand.

It's cool to see parallels in these stories that compare to those from Christian mythology. For example, in the story of Hagar and Ra, there is a flood much like the one in the Book of Genesis in the Christian bible. It is also interesting to see the differences too. In the story of Osiris, the author talks about Isis and tells how she loved the humans that her fellow gods had created. This contrasts to Hera in Greek Mythology, who hated humans and was jealous of Zeus' ties to them. Not only this, but Osiris leaves the Egyptian holy lands and goes to help rule other lands, and he leaves Iris to rule in his place until his return. This would have never happened in the Greek mythologies.

The story of the Wax Crocodile seemed to be too quickly resolved, and I didn't like that the wife was punished so cruelly. While I know that this was usually a woman's role in ancient mythologies, if I chose to rewrite this story, it will definitely feature a bigger role from the wife in it. This was much like my sentiment towards the Green Jewel. The story made the woman look materialistic, and I almost wonder if there is something more to play with her personality.Not only that, but I would love to maybe combine the stories of the Wax Crocodile and the Green Jewel, if I can think of a way to do so..

Bibliography: Egyptian Myth and Legend by Donald Mackenzie, link to online reading.

Reading Notes: Bible Women Reading A

I didn't grow up in a religious household, but I have always been interested in Bible stories, much like I am about mythologies around the world. Since I'm always down to learn about ladies in literature, for this week I read the Bible Women that's in our archives.

1. Characters

All the character's stories combined, and that's interesting to me because it would make it easier to combine the stories if I feel that I want to write about more than one in my retelling. However, the characters are sort of mansplained (yes, that is an actual word, and no, I am not correcting it). They are written in a male point of view and I think that I would make them more three dimensional, and give them more personality than they do in the stories.

2. Language

The language is quite old, and it really takes away from the story. By making the language more modern, the readers will be more involved in the story and it will really help to let the readers understand what is going on. Not only that, but it makes the text more relatable to the audience.

3. Scenery 

There is information provided for in the stories that allows readers to assume that the setting is in the Middle East, but there really isn't any description of where they are. I would like there to be a little bit more scenery described in the text in order to create a better picture of the story and to understand how the character interact within their environments.

4. Portrayal of characters

A lot of the women are seen as secondary, background characters in the Bible. I want to make them the key figures within their story, to make sure that the readers understand that they are just as important to the tale as their male counterparts.

Princess Bride Bible verse meme. Found on QuickMeme.

Women of the Bible, from the King James Bible; link to the online reading.

Feedback Strategies

Since I missed this assignment (oops) last week, I read one of the articles from last week, and another for this week's assignment.

Game of Thrones Criticism meme by Sabrina Guillen

1. Overcoming the Fear of Feedback 

One of my biggest problems with feedback is that I get too anxious about the opinions of others, and that leads to me changing things in my writing/assignments that don't need to be changed. This affects my work because I don't feel, in the end, that it's truly mine. This article helped me to see that it's okay to be slightly nervous about feedback, that it's normal. Which is good, because I would hate to be considered a headcase. The fact that they brought up the growth mindset in this article is interesting, considering I had only heard of it briefly before taking this class. What this article taught me is that, like most procedures in life, feedback needs routine. You need a distinct set of directions and rules that you follow for both giving and receiving feedback, and this will train your mind into not being afraid of the feedback as a whole.

2. What Kinds of Messages Help Kids Grow?

I chose this article because, as a future teacher, I want to be able to give my students criticism in the best way for them to grow as students and as people, as a whole. This article does focus on younger children, sure, but it would be very similar in how a teacher would handle a middle or high school student. Again, they brought up the growth mindset, pointing out the differences between older and younger kids - which helps, obviously - and explains what it is. I like that I keep being reminded. The idea of "process praise" is a really good idea because, in my experience, simply being amazed by a kid's work all the time doesn't help them grow at all. This article taught me that students need to understand that even though they might not be able to do something now, they will be able to do it in the future, if they work hard enough for it. It was good advice for me to know that it will help my students to improve by actually telling them that they will, instead of having to pretend that they will just continue on the same wavelength .

Topic Research: Greek Constellations Stories - The Women

So I decided, because of the fact that I have a constellation tattoo, that the topic that I would do is Greek Constellations. It just seems like fate to me. Because I want to focus on the women in these tales, I'm going to choose constellations based on female protagonists/antagonists of each story. 

1. Cassiopeia 

Of course I'm going to choose Cassiopeia, because that is the constellation tattoo that I have. Her story is interesting and I would be able to make her more of a culprit rather than a victim. I think that she would have owned up to the crimes that Poseidon accused her of, and that she would have seen the punishment as nothing more than a nuisance. 

Cassiopeia in the night sky. Found on Wikipedia Commons.

2. Andromeda

As Cassiopeia's daughter, I think it would be fun to be able to intertwine the stories of the two women. In my head, both of these women have very strong personalities and would interact within their stories. It'd be fun to get more into their stories than what is usually done. They make Cassiopeia to be a horrible mother, and Andromeda the victim, but maybe they both need to work out their problems (LOL). 

Gloria Frederici, Andromeda, and Triangula. Found on Wikipedia Commons.

3. Pleiades 

This mythological story was actually unfamiliar to me, but I liked that it has so much information in one set of sisters. The family dynamic is interesting, much like it is with Cassiopeia and Andromeda, and I can use the different sisters to make a more intriguing tale. It might be confusing when I bring up all seven sisters, but I hope to write it in a way where people understand where the information is coming from. 

A painting of the Pleiades by Elihu Vedder. Found on Wikipedia Commons.

All in all, I'm excited about this project, and hope to maybe add one more story to the project, if I can find one that fits into the dynamic I have created! 

Week 3 Story: Excuses Do Not Matter

Werewolf from Wikipedia

The moon was at its full zenith when the wolf made its way to the lake. It was a peaceful place, somewhere that he could come when he needed to get away from the calamity of the full moon. His body ached from the transformation, and his blood lust was pumping through his veins. He only hoped that no one was around when he got to the water.

He always had really bad luck. One of the many downsides to being a monster.

The wolf knew that he didn’t need an excuse to attack the poor deer that drank from the lake, but it made him feel better to give himself one.

“It is the rules of the land to not grace this place during a full moon.” He snarled at the fawn – its spot still covering its back – who was down the lake’s shore just a short distance away. This was a lie; there was no such law, but that did not matter to the wolf.

The fawn’s head snapped up, and the wolf could see the fear in her eyes. The predator did not need to see the fear, however, to know it was there. He could smell it, a heavy scent that clouded the air and clung to his nostrils. He sniffed loudly and his teeth bared, a wolf-version of a smile.

“I did not know.” The fawn stammered, shaking her head. “I am only months old. My mother was shot by hunters when I was even smaller. She didn’t get the chance to tell me about the ways of the woods -“

The young animal was cut off as the wolf drew closer, his paws making low thuds as he came nearer. “Your excuses don’t matter to me,” He told her, the wolfish grin taking up most of his snout.

Before the fawn could even think to run away, too scared to even move an inch, the wolf pounced on the poor animal’s body and brought his teeth down into his prey’s jugular. Blood spattered the ground and muddied the water as it snaked its way to the lake. It gleamed in the full moon’s light, a bright scarlet, and as the wolf fixed his cravings, the human part of his brain couldn’t help but whisper softly, a small and frantic, “Villains always find an excuse for revenge.”

The fawn’s body tasted ever the more bitter as he continued to chew.

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Author's Note: So this week I read The Fables of Aesop by Joseph Jacobs. In my story here, I used the fable of the Wolves. In the story that I used, the wolf is a tyrant that rules the countryside. He uses any excuse to find a meal. He uses the excuse that the lamb, who he is hunting, called him bad names. When the lamb tells him that he wasn't even alive when these names were called, he makes another excuse. This goes on until the wolf believes he has the right to attack the lamb, and he ends up eating him for his dinner. In my version, it might not be too obvious, but the main character (the wolf) is actually a werewolf. This creatures a plot point where his inner wolf and the inner human parts of his brain do not agree with the actions of the other. It makes it interesting, if you were to think about the affects on the human because of the wolf's actions, and vice versa, and what that might do to his persona. I kept the same idea and lesson that is learned in the story, while also leaving the main point of story at the end like Jacobs did. I used more imagery in the story and gave more details than the original story did, to make the writing more complex and the readers intrigued. I had fun writing this story; I like writing the villains as the narrator of stories. It makes for a more interesting read. 

Bibliography: Aesop's Fables by Joseph Jacobs, link to reading online.

Reading Notes: Aesop's Fables, Part A

Mr. Darcy meme by quickmeme

One of my favorite things about Aesop's fables is that the main characters of each story are true to themselves throughout the entirety of the text. For example, during the Wolves tales, he is constantly the villain. The wolf does not seem to be guilty about this, because that is who he is, and who he always would be. The story ends with the idea that he was always true to himself. I like characters who are morally ambiguous, and, not only that, I love characters who do not have a positive character development. It is not realistic, and gives readers a different perspective of literary characters.

Another thing I liked about the stories is the messages at the end of each tale. The stories are meant to teach the readers a lesson with each one, and I think making it obvious at the end of the tale helps the reader to look back at the text and see where in the story they might have overlooked each tale, if they did so. Like in many of the stories, the advice comes from the main protagonist (or antagonist) of each tale. It packs a punch when the most important character in the story tells you the reason why the story was written.

The stories were simple, which was probably because of the writing at the time that these tales were written, but I would like to make each of the characters in my stories more in depth, because that's who I am as a writer. I like good descriptions that let the readers know where they are, setting wise, or who the characters are, both in personality and the way that they look. When I continue reading, I hope to look closer at the texts to try and see if I can find ways in which I would like to change more of the writing, or if I would like to copy something in the way that the tale is told.

Bibliography: Aesop's Fables by Joseph Jacobs, link to reading online.

Topic Brainstorm

Here are some topics that I brainstormed about for this assignment:

1. Greek Constellation Stories

Since I have always been into Greek Mythology, I thought this would be a fun topic to choose because I can work with something that I love while also learning more about the topic. I might delve into the female stories more; I know I will most definitely work with Cassiopeia if I choose this topic, only because she is one of my favorite women in Greek Mythology, and I have a tattoo of the constellation on my arm. Not only would I work with her, but also her daughter, Andromeda (who also happens to be a constellation - lucky for me!) I'd like to know more about some other female oriented stories in this mythology. I think I'd retell their stories to make them less of victims - like they are in the myths - and have them own up to whatever flaws and problems they faced within their stories. It'll be fun to make them less of a figurehead for the male-oriented telling of these tales and to actually give them a voice.

Personal photo of my Cassiopeia constellation tattoo. Taken January 22, 2016.

2. Dutch Fairy Tales

Since my father's side of the family originated from the Netherlands (he can go back eleven generations and tell you each of their names), I thought it would be fun to research some of the folklore/fairy tales that come from that area of Europe. I don't know much about Dutch fairy tales, which would make this a fun way to learn more about the culture and stories that little Dutch girls grew up on. I would probably focus on stories that are told around specific parts of the Dutch culture, and that are better known to the general public. For example, a lot, if not most, people know about clogging shoes, and I would retell the story, "The Legend of the Wooden Shoe." I would tell the stories as if they are from different characters from each tale - maybe center it around one specific character and then use each story to give them a look into their friend group, or something of the like. Each different story would be told from a different character, therefore giving the readers a different viewpoint with each new tale.

3. Fairy Tale Princesses

With this project, I would use my previous knowledge of well-known fairy tales and try to delve deeper into the tale. Not only that, but I would like to make the commonly known, Disney princesses into something closer to their original stories. For example, using the idea that the step-sisters actually cut off their feet in the original Cinderella, or how Ariel actually turned to sea foam in the end of her tale. These will make the stories seem less romantic and more realistic (at least, in the sense that not everyone gets a happy ending). This idea would combine both stories from the Grimm Brothers, as well as stories from Hans Christian Anderson. I think I would tell the stories almost in the form of a Gossip Girl-like tale, so that it's more modern and something that a lot of people like and are familiar with. For people who aren't, telling the story in such a way will allow the audience to look at the princesses differently than they would have if it was in a Disney movie.

4. The Women of Camelot 

I think it would be a lot of fun to write up a project that focuses on the women of Camelot, because it gives the audience a different look at a very famous tale. People are aware that there are women in this tale - the Lady of the Lake, who helps Author on his quests, and Guinevere, who destroys Author and Camelot - but I think they see them more as a plot point rather than an actual character. It would be fun to give the characters their own voices and allow their stories to expand to something more than a small part of the story. I would probably write this project by using each character and having them tell their own story, with one of the women being the ones that introduce each female. For example, since the Lady of the Lake is the ruler of Avalon, she might introduce each other woman and then also telling her own story as well.

I'm really excited to start researching and to see which one of these projects I start to lean more toward. It's an even tie between the four of them so far, so we'll see how it goes!